Marital Blitz

One of Hannah’s bridesmaids is getting married on January 24th.  We got the invitation back in December and I simply filed away the information as a future social engagement.

It only recently dawned on me that January 24th is a Sunday, and the day of the AFC and NFC Championship games.

So yeah, I’m going to be at a wedding while the second and third most important football games of the year are going on.

Someone said to me, “Well, don’t go to the wedding.”  He is obviously not, and probably never will be, married.
Now, before any women out there try to hang me out to dry, let it be said that not only was our wedding on a Saturday during college football season, but I also missed a Buccaneers game on the first day of our honeymoon.  Granted, missing a Bucs game was probably a favor this season, but the point remains, I took the hit.  I put my wife above football.  I figure I owed it to her once in her life.

I’m pretty sure it was the bride who picked a Sunday in January for the wedding.  I mean, even a guy who’s not a football fan would know better, because he’d be sentencing all his friends who are football fans to breaking out into a sweat while resisting the urge to pull out their cell phones during the ceremony to check scores. 

Because that’s how guys are.  We need to know the scores to games.  Even games we aren’t remotely interested in.  If groups of men are gathered together tossing some kind ball around, we’re going to want to know who’s doing it better.  Being deprived of that knowledge, even for an hour or two, puts us behind every other guy in the world, and that’s just not acceptable.

And considering that these are the games that will determine who goes to the Super Bowl, well, the bride and her family aren’t going to be the only ones crying in that venue.

OK, in all honesty, I’m really happy for this couple.  They’ve been together forever, they’re good people, they deserve this, and I wish them nothing but the best. 

But I swear to God, there had better be a TV at the reception or there’s going to be a scene.

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