Famous Last Words

“It’s a little spicy, but it’s not too bad.”

Cue me seven hours later sitting here pouring water and Maalox down my throat.  I should have realized that when they put the Italian word for Satan in the name of the dish, they weren’t kidding around.  I even sopped up the left over sauce with some bread, which in hindsight seems akin to dousing a fire with gasoline.  Delivered via atomic bomb.  That is also on fire.

The really awful thing about how my heartburn works is that I get these hideous, repetitive dreams.  I’ll hear an inane song lyric over and over again, or repeat the same action ad infinitum, to the point where I have to wake up and bored everyone with a blog post about it.  Fortunately I have today off for President’s Day, so once this passes I can crash and not have to worry about waking up.

I didn’t use to be this bad, but I guess the inevitable aging of my digestive tract has led to a weakening of my tolerance for anything spicier than water.  Wings have gone from hot to medium to mild to “Don’t even cook them in the same room as the sauce.”  I can still tolerate my beloved Pepper Jack cheese, most likely due to the soothing dairy coating, but I assume it’s just a matter of time until I’m on bread and water.

Oh well, at least it’s not that damn pepper.  Then again, that was over a lot quicker.


2 Responses to Famous Last Words

  1. Have you tried papaya enzyme? When I was pregnant I had horrible heartburn and my OB recommended I try papaya. I got it at Richard's (a local health food store) and it works great. Tastes good, too.It's not too expensive and has worked for my husband and a few of our friends. Might be worth looking into.

  2. jenryannyc says:

    Alas, I joined the GERD club a few weeks ago. I have to say that Aciphex really does work (by prescription) You take it at the beginning of the day on an empty stomach and by God, you dont get heartburn no matter what you eat. In the meantime, cut back on tomatoes, citrus, soda and chocolate; they're hell on the tummy tum tum.

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